LaVar Ball Is My Favorite Dad

LaVar Ball has been all over the basketball world over the past few days. He’s said that Lonzo is better than Stephen Curry, he’s said that he could beat Michael Jordan 1-on-1 in their primes, he’s said he could beat Charles Barkley 1-on-1, among other things. LaVar has been thrashed on Twitter and is absolutely not loved. I’m not sure if he’s hitting Grayson Allen’s level, but he sure as hell is starting to get on a lot of basketball fans’ nerves. I like LaVar Ball, and so should you.

LaVar wants $1 billion for his family’s brand, Big Baller Brand, and he wants it before his eldest son Lonzo steps foot onto an NBA court. $1 billion is an absurd amount of money, but is it really absurd for such an absurd dad? Not in any way, shape or form. LaVar is shooting for out of the Milky Way, he bypassed the stars and all the planets and everything else in space. He’s trying to drive the Millennium Falcon, but doing so without Han Solo, Chewy or any other member of the Star Wars cast.

While LaVar Ball’s parenting skills may be atrocious, Skip Bayless wishes he had LaVar as a father. I have absolutely zero desire for LaVar Ball, or any other delusional parent to be my father. If my dad had told me, or people at work, that I was a better swimmer than Michael Phelps, I would’ve quit swimming on the spot. I wouldn’t have any desire to play a sport in which my father had said that I was better than the best player EVER in that sport. I wasn’t Michael Phelps, and Lonzo Ball isn’t Michael Jordan.

This is no knock on Lonzo Ball’s basketball abilities, but Michael Jordan was, uh, pretty good. The one good thing about LaVar Ball’s outlandish comments about his kids, is the marketing aspect. When you woke up this morning you may have scrolled onto Twitter and one of LaVar’s comments was in a tweet. I know if you follow any sort of basketball account that you saw something about Lavar Ball. He’s omnipresent now. Any time you turn on ESPN, look at Twitter, Instagram, or almost any sports publication, you’re going to see a snippet of LaVar Ball saying something stupid. It’s incredible promotion for his sons, and he knows it too.

If you didn’t laugh at this tweet, you aren’t human, or you hate LaVar Ball more than ESPN loves LeBron James. The crazy thing about that tweet is that it is mildly possible that LaVar Ball says that. At this point, he might actually say his sons are the Holy Trinity of God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. I’m not putting anything past this dude because at this point, he will say anything to keep the spotlight on him and therefore his boys.

Imagine if UCLA wins the National Title. What will LaVar do then? LaVar might actually be a genius if UCLA wins the title. He might also say something like, “My son is the best college basketball player ever,” or, “My son walks on water,” or even, “My son averaged more than 2.2 points per game, won the National Title single-handedly, and is better than me.”

LiAngelo Ball is getting the best deal out of this. He isn’t a top recruit, and will be lucky to get a lot of minutes next season at UCLA. He’s a role player that is being hyped up as a top 10 recruit for his class. I’d also hate to be LiAngelo because now, so much is expected of his family and UCLA. He won’t live up to the hype of Lavar, but maybe he will.

LaMelo Ball is a cherry picking sophomore in high school, with braces, and isn’t too tall yet. He scored 92 points in a game (but not really because cherry picking doesn’t count, but still he got 92 points in a game) and could be the best Ball brother depending on how tall he gets.

LaVar Ball might be getting on your nerves, but he’s a marketing genius, and I absolutely love it. He’s hyping up his sons to be the best three players basketball has ever seen, and it’s nowhere near realistic, but that’s the best part. I’m not entirely sure if even he believes all that he is saying.

LaVar Ball is the best dad in all of the NCAA, and he’s also the worst dad in all of the NCAA. He’s not going to change, so you better get used to it.