What a Youth Amateur Boxing Coach Doesn't Want to Hear

1. “My kid can’t attend each practice (or show up on time) because they have other activities going on.”

Seriously? Boxing, like any other sport, requires regular practice. I can’t put anyone in a boxing match if they’re not regularly training for one. The first rule in amateur boxing is safety. The training routine I have planned is based on the days the gym is open, not on when kids have time between art classes, football, swimming, and whatever else they are doing.

2. “I don’t want my kid sparring with that other kid.”

I make the sparring matches based on who is best suited to each other in the gym. Sometimes, I will put a kid in with another kid whose skills are slightly better so they have to push themselves a little further. I’m not going to create sparring sessions based on what someone’s parent feels comfortable with. After all, the kids will not be able to pick and choose with whom they have a regular match. If parents insist on picking and choosing whom their kids will spar with, their kids won’t spar at all.

3. “Can you show my other kid/my niece/my nephew/my kid’s friend some moves, too?”

Only if they are signed up for the class. A private gym is not going to give freebies, and a municipal-run gym has to account for everyone in class even if the boxing program they offer is free. It is unfair to the other kids signed up for the class to be denied my attention as well as space to work out in favor of those whose names aren’t on the attendance roster.

4. “I know my kids are different ages, but I want them all to be in the same class.”

No. I can’t have an eight-year-old sparring with a 16-year-old for obvious reasons. Also, the attention span of those under age 12 is different than that of teenagers. The classes are divided by age for a reason.

5. “I want to work out with my kids.”

Uh, if there are youth boxing classes available, adult boxing classes are probably available in the same place, and parents should sign up for those. The parents of the kids in the class know who am I, but they may not be comfortable with another adult in the class with whom they are not familiar. Once again, I’m not going to make allowances for individuals’ personal schedules because the gym needs to run in an orderly manner.

6. “I want my kid to learn self-defense.”

Boxing is a sport. I would suggest signing kids up for a program that teaches self-defense. I would also strongly suggest that parents teach their kids other ways to handle conflicts that don’t involve fighting. Most schools have zero-tolerance policies against violence on their property. Parents should consider the legal trouble they and their kids could face in the aftermath of a physical fight. Unfortunately, these days, their kids could also find themselves in a fight where weapons are involved. Fists alone will not protect them against that.

7. “My kid should have won that fight! I’m going to give the referee and judges a piece of my mind!”

Please don’t. Jumping down the throats of the other coach and the kid on the other side of the ring is not a good idea, either. All the yelling and screaming is not going to reverse a decision in an amateur boxing match. There have been times I wondered why the referee made certain calls. I have wondered what fight the judges were watching. But I’m not going to argue. I will have to see all those people again at future boxing competitions. Those same people will also remember a kid whose parent blows up every time the decision is not the one they wanted. It might make it hard for me to get them a fight at the next competition.

8. “Don’t stop the sparring match! It’s good for my kid.”

I will stop a sparring match if one of the kids is on the way to being seriously injured. If it appears the kid is not returning punches and doesn’t want to be in the ring, I’m shutting that down, too. Sparring is practice fighting for the purpose of improving skills. I’m not allowing a kid to be unnecessarily bloodied and banged up to play into a parent’s ego and dreams of sports glory.

9. “My kid should be doing this or that in terms of training.”

Look, I’m being paid to coach. I obviously have the experience or else I wouldn't have been hired to do the job. While the kids are in the gym, mine is the only voice they should hear. No, I don’t appreciate after having told and shown the kids I know to be true having a parent telling them something different. It’s not that I don’t welcome suggestions, especially if I know for sure a parent has experience in the sport. But I don’t need my authority undermined in front of the students.

10. "Oh, I forgot to tell you my kid has this health condition."

Maybe I should have been notified about that before I had to call the ambulance to the gym. Parents should never, ever have the attitude that their kid's asthma, heart murmur, or whatever it is will be okay for them to participate in any sports activity, especially a strenuous one like boxing. Even if a doctor has given them the green light to be in the class, I still need to know the kid's health status so I and other staff members know what to do in case of an emergency. That is only common sense. Don't "forget" to let me know.

11. "I know the class is full, but can you fit my kid in?"

The number of participants in the class is based on how many I can adequately give attention to in the gym. Boxing is not a team sport and each kid is at a different skill level. Some are going to need more attention than others. I have to make sure that I give attention to each kid as evenly as possible within the time frame. If I have volunteers to help me with coaching, I may be able to take more kids in. If it's just me, I have to limit the number of kids I can handle at one time.

12. "I have a kid whom I'm trying to help find something to for them to get involved in."

Usually, it's a social worker who has told me that. Immediately, a red flag goes up because the kid they are hoping to put into the gym could have some serious issues. I also have to wonder why the kid's parents aren't doing the legwork to find an activity for them. Of course, the social worker is not going to go into details. But I'm responsible for all of the kids in my gym while I'm there. I can't have anyone in the class that may pose a threat to the other kids. Nor am I equipped to deal with any mental and/or emotional issues of the kid the social worker is trying to pawn off on my program. Unless I have full disclosure about what is going on, the answer is automatically no.