Nike Gets a Big Fat 10 for This Troll Job

What is a troll? No, not the short, pimple-faced imaginary creature that lives under a bridge. Wrong again, not the highlighter hair-colored, plastic figurines that were all the rage in the 90s. When I say “troll," I am talking about the new age kind, the one that hides behind a keyboard. I am referring to a character that the phrase “when Twitter fingers turn to trigger fingers” encapsulates perfectly. You know that guy or girl, with no “real” profile picture or image, who has something to say about everything and usually nothing positive. Yeah, that person. This person would be your troll.

Defining "Trolling"

Although there are many definitions of “internet trolls," the most comprehensive one I found was located on the ever-popular Urban Dictionary. Having quite a few meanings for the word, I picked out a few that encompass the best meaning for our purposes. The first says:

“A mythological internet being that lives under an internet bridge. Loves to hunt for innocent netizens."

This plays on the imaginary figure's character, but actually uses it to characterize how “real life” trolls operate on the world wide web. Here's the second definition:

“A person whose sole purpose in life is to seek out people to argue with on the internet over extremely trivial issues. Such arguments can happen on blogs, Facebook, Myspace and a host of others; the best thing you can do to fight an internet troll is to not answer... or report them.”

This explains it a bit more literally, although both definitions are helpful in fully understanding what a troll is. Now that we know what a troll is, who are some of our more popular and well-known trolls?

There have been quite a few, and some more high profile than others. Kevin Durant was recently outed as being a troll. It was revealed several weeks back that not only does KD have a fake social media account he uses to monitor what’s being said about him, but he actually uses it to respond to those making the comments, or to “clap back” as the kiddies say.

Athletes aren’t the only ones in the sports industry who are susceptible to these types of “trolling” incidents, though. Roger Goodell’s wife, Jane Skinner Goodell, was also recently found guilty of doing the same thing. In very KD-like fashion, Lady Goodell took to social media from a fake account to defend her “Rog." They are not alone though, and the next example illustrates everything that’s wrong about trolling.

POTUS is the greatest troll that ever lived, and everyday, he adds to the massive troll job he is pulling on our country. Just look at his Twitter. Even with the president though, he isn’t the “TROTUS," the troll master of the United States these days. That title belongs to someone else.

That’s right: if you guessed it, NIKE is the new "KING OF TROLL," and the “Want It All” Nike commercial was everything. It also was a massive troll job on Kyrie Irving. Although some of the names in the commercial may have been altered, the premises and subtle specificities were right on target. From the way the imaginary baller moved, played, and more specifically handled the rock, you could clearly see it was based on the silky smooth game and handle of Kyrie. These were not the only things that tip the sneaker giant's hand here. There was the actual makeup of the “baller," the fact that he would eventually attend Duke and hit what appears to be a big shot off the “step back” move, a move that Kyrie has become synonymous with (and in very Kyrie-esque fashion, might I add).

On top of other little subtleties such as an appearance at a “LeBron James” skills camp as a teenager (which is documented as being true of Kyrie Irving as well), the icing on the cake was one of the final sequences of the commercial. In this sequence, it shows Kevin Durant coming down the court, hitting a shot which appears to be a “clincher” based on the environment in the commercial. After the shot is made, the imaginary baller then pushes the ball down the court, dishes to LeBron, who then finds him for what looks like a game-winning alley-oop off the backboard. Now, although the NBA Street off-the-backboard type alley-oop LeBron threw in the commercial is a bit romanticized, it is eerily similar of the very sequence that ended in Kyrie hitting a big three-pointer to help the Cavaliers secure a title a few season back. That’s all I'm saying.

Touche, Nike, I see what you did there. This is simply one of the dopest commercials ever in itself, and the fact that these are the basis of the events in said commercial makes it that much more great. Hey, at least they didn’t create a fake account to post it from... right? (Looking at you, Kevin Durant and Lady Goodell).