Unbalanced logo

Hoodie Melo Gets His Wish and Moves to OKC

Out of all of the possible Melo trades, OKC steals the show away for 30 cents on the dollar.

By Stone StrankmanPublished 7 years ago 4 min read
Like
Hoops Habit

Today the Oklahoma City Thunder and Sam Presti steal away another superstar to add to the Triple-Double King's team. This summer, Presti was able to snag Paul George away from the for sure Boston Celtics trade for Victor Oladipo and Domantas Sabonis. 30 cents on the dollar, sure, but he was also able to add Carmelo Anthony for Enes Kanter, Doug McDermott, and the Bulls 2018 second-round pick.

Melo was apparently not willing to be traded to any team other than Houston at first, then he said if the deal fell through with the Rockets that he would accept a trade to the Portland TrailBlazers. This all happened yesterday afternoon. Out of the blue tweets started circulating saying that Melo had added teams that he would trade his no trade clause for, including the Cleveland Cavaliers and OKC. Cleveland has the Nets 2018 first-round pick that was hoarded and guarded by Danny Ainge so carefully for so long, but then was dealt in the Kyrie Irving blockbuster trade. As a Knicks enthusiast, I was banking on this Melo to Cleveland for the Nets pick trade, but there wasn't even any traction on that trade.

Melo finally got out of New York, and left the Knicks in the hands of my beautiful, large dad, Kristaps Porzingis. Melo adds yet another ball stopper to the OKC starting lineup, and I'm not sure how that is all going to work out. Russell Westbrook now has weapons to use on his right and left-side of the court. Westbrook will still be driving and dishing, but now he won't absolutely have to dish to the abysmal Andre Roberson. Having three ball stoppers in the starting lineup concerns me just a tad, but I believe that the Thunder have a tremendous upgrade of players for the 2017-2018 season. Will Westbrook, George, Anthony, and Adams be enough to stop the Golden State Warriors in seven games? The answer is actually quite simple if you can answer this one question: Is Carmelo Anthony allowed to wear a hoodie jersey during the games? If the answer is yes, then OKC wins the finals in 2018. If the answer is no, then OKC loses in six games to the Warriors.

The Score

The Hoodie Melo phenomenon has been going strong since shortly after the Knicks season ended in April. It's incredible that we have these folk stories of Untucked Jersey Kyrie, Toothless Isaiah, Gang Sign John Wall, and Hoodie Melo. These players have shaped the way we ingest the NBA meme content. Hoodie Melo was out at 2:30 AM running and doing cardio workouts on a turf field somewhere in New York during the Summer League games. While some people laughed and thought Melo was washed up, others started to believe, like I did. I connected to Hoodie Melo somehow, even though regular game Melo would never give my dad, Kristaps Porzingis, the ball in crunch time minutes, I still felt a strange attraction to Hoodie Melo.

Chris Brickley has started a revolution with the Hoodie Melo. I have spent so much time on Twitter searching for new Brickley gym videos of Hoodie Melo that it has become an unhealthy habit. I knew that a Melo trade was inevitable, but in denial I started to wear hoodies to my workouts and runs. I put the hood up, blast some Cherry Bomb by Tyler, The Creator, and take off on my run or workout. I hit another gear with the hood up, and when I pull the hood off after my workout, I instantly get weaker. I fall to the ground in desperation, and can't get up. I flip the hoodie back up and WHAM, I'm back on my feet ready to run a marathon. It's incredible what a simple hoodie can do for your workouts. It's like Sampson in the Book of Judges: he has the long flowing hair and has superhuman strength, his hair gets cut and he loses all of his strength. Hoodie Melo without a hoodie is actually my worst nightmare, so if the NBA and Adam Silver don't custom make an OKC custom Hoodie Melo jersey for him, then I will actually riot and streak. I've thrown around streaking in articles before, but I'm serious this time.

Adam Silver has to make this happen, for the benefit of OKC and Melo, but especially my mental health. I can't live in a world where Carmelo Anthony doesn't play in a hoodie and I refuse to live in a world where Hoodie Melo doesn't exist.

Oklahoma City has a new trifecta and I can't tell you how it's going to work. I hope it does so we can have exciting basketball before the NBA Finals roll around, but if it doesn't we all know a Banana Boat of some sorts will be formed, or LeBron will be a Laker. Both of those things will be awesome to see happen, but for now, let's make this Hoodie Melo thing happen in OKC. Adam Silver, I'm counting on you, don't mess this up.

basketball
Like

About the Creator

Stone Strankman

I'm in a committed relationship with the NBA. Staff Writer, The Unbalanced.

Reader insights

Be the first to share your insights about this piece.

How does it work?

Add your insights

Comments

There are no comments for this story

Be the first to respond and start the conversation.

Sign in to comment

    Find us on social media

    Miscellaneous links

    • Explore
    • Contact
    • Privacy Policy
    • Terms of Use
    • Support

    © 2024 Creatd, Inc. All Rights Reserved.